Self-love. A word that has a negative connotation for many. But how come? Self-love has nothing to do with vanity and arrogance- not at all. The relationship with ourselves is the most important one in our lives. Everything we do, we’re passionate about and we love, is based on this relationship. Unfortunately, we forget this fact too often. We want to be loved, accepted and appreciated by others, but what about ourselves? Why do WE stay on track?
Self-love has nothing to do with selfishness or narcissism, but with self-respect and self-esteem. To love ourselves, with all our edges and imperfection, has not only a positive effect on our lives, but also on the lives of our friends, family, and loved ones. Self-love makes us emotionally stable. It gives us self-confidence and inner strength, makes us honest, sincere and attractive. A lack of self-love is often the reason for failed projects in live- physically and mentally. But mostly, we seek the answer to our questions in a completely different spot. However, any love, no matter which love, always starts first within ourselves.
Self-love- self-esteem and self-confidence are the essential keys to a happy and fulfilling life. How should you pursue your dreams, if you don’t like yourself, your way of thinking or your ideas? The crux is often the inner dialogue we have with us. On the one hand, we can be lovingly and motivating and empowering, but also destructive and mean. This is where we have to pull our thoughts and inner dialogue on a positive side. Only we are responsible for our happiness, and life is definitely too short to not love ourselves.
But above all, we must be willing to work for it. I find that society nowadays is so impatient. Everything must happen immediately: losing weight, making money, success, finding the right guy. The result thereof is a disappointed face when things won’t get successful overnight.
No matter what area in life, if you strive for long-term results, you have to stick to your challenge, practice often and consciously take time for it regularly. This is the only way to achieve sustainable goals. It’s the same with self-love and self-esteem. You can’t stand in front of your mirror and repeat three times that you love yourself the way you are and expect that you now love yourself enough and be done with it. Self-love is a process. A long and sometimes quite exhausting process. But at the end of it, there waits happiness, love and inner peace. I think it’s totally worth it to be patient, don’t you think?
Today I have 12 tips for you, how you can learn and practice self-love in order to live a happy and fulfilled live. In addition, they should help you to maintain your relationships and friendships, and to be patient with yourself. I also included a free working sheet for you, that I fill out every Sunday.
1. Try to handle mistakes and failure in a positive way – accept them
You’ve made mistakes in the past and you’ll also make mistakes in future. Just like any other human being on this planet. You’re not the only person- but people usually just don’t talk about it. Even if you’re making thousands of mistakes (which I doubt by the way), it makes no sense to hate yourself for it. To drown yourself in self-criticism and guilt is neither constructive nor healthy. Instead of pulling yourself down, you should ask yourself one question: What can I learn from this?“. And there it is. You learn something- with every single mistake you make. We wouldn’t be where we are today, without making mistakes from time to time. They shape us, teach us and often something good arises from them. We just need a little longer to realize that. Start treating your mistakes in a more positive and educational way from now on and don’t be so hard on yourself.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
In my article 12 tips how to stop comparing yourself to others, I already explained to you in detail, what comparison does to our self-esteem. Right- it kills it! When we compare ourselves to others, we forget the fact that we are all unique human beings. And out of a sudden, we only see our weaknesses. Especially in times of Instagram and Snapchat, we are repeatedly confronted with comparison every day. You have to accept that everyone has a bad day from time to time, and all of us have something to carry. There is no life out there which is fully perfect. A perfect life just doesn’t exist. And that is totally fine. It would be super boring and without emotion. Don’t look for comparison, focus on inspiration.
3. Take life not too seriously
Don’t be so hard on yourself all the time. If something doesn’t work the first try, be patient with yourself. Always keep in mind that good things take time. Don’t overthink everything to the smallest detail. Take a deep breath and do everything with a bit more ease.
4. Celebrate your achievements
If you archive something of what you are proud of, no matter how small or big, celebrate it. Each time! Write down a list of everything that you’ve accomplished and keep it always nearby, so you can read it when you’re feeling insecure about yourself. This will strengthen your confidence and will make you happy and proud!
5. Decide that today is going to be a good day
Each morning we have the chance to start our day in a positive way. Before you get out of bed, you have to decide that today is going to be a good day. If you act positive, you will feel positive- fake it till you feel it! Make today a happy one!
6. Stay true to yourself
Just because others don’t like what you do, or doubt your decisions and dreams- you can’t stop believing in them yourself. Don’t make yourself small for others. Be true to yourself and stand up for your dreams, ideas, and thoughts. Don’t try to please everyone- that is impossible and highly frustrating. Here is a quote which I think fits perfect:
“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” ~ Dan Coppersmith
7. Listen to your body
What food do your body and soul good? Which diet is perfect for your optimum energy level and vitality? Which sports do you enjoy the most? If you are physically active and eat healthy and natural food- you energy gets a boost and you will feel so much better and happier. Find out which diet and sports work best for you. I chose the plant-based diet and couldn’t be happier with it. If you want to learn more about my workout routine, you can browse my fitness category.
8. Smile more often
This may sound a little superficial, but a smile has so much more power than you might think. Start your mornings like this: smile when you wake up, smile every time you pass a mirror, smile when you are talking to other people, smile when you go to bed. A smile signals our brain happiness what’s lead our body to feel great and full of energy!
9. Stop doubting yourself
Stop doubting your decisions , your dreams, your ideas, your being or your instincts. Have faith in yourself and always keep in mind: If you never try, you’ll never know. Take out a piece of paper and write down what the worst case scenario would be if you follow your dreams without doubts. Then decide if you could handle that scenario. Often it sounds much more terrifying in our head than it actually is in real life.
10. Surround yourself with people who you do well
We are the average of the five people with which we spend the most time with- choose wisely! Avoid people who bring you into a bad state of mind, leave you doubting yourself or make you feel bored. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people who believe in you and your dreams and also share their dreams with you. Spend time with people who support you, listen to you and appreciate and respect you the way you deserve it! Walk away from people who make you feel bad!
11. Take time for things that bring you joy
It is so important to spend time with yourself and do the things that YOU love. Whether it’s dancing, singing, boxing, reading or baking- it’s totally up to you. Do what brings you fun and joy and make time for these activities in your busy life. Don’t feel guilty! Have fun, enjoy yourself and focus on YOU. Me-time is totally necessary for our happiness, self-love, and mindset!
12. Practice your self-esteem and self-love with my free working sheet
Normally, self-love should be practiced every day. I know this is difficult and we often forget. That’s why I created a weekly self-love and self-esteem working sheet, that I fill out every Sunday night. It sums up all your accomplishments, feelings and things you are grateful for, so you can start fresh into your new week, reflect the old one, learn from your mistakes and tackle new goals.
Print 10 sheets, put it in a small folder and fill in the working sheet every Sunday from now on. I find it very helpful and think you should at least give it a try 🙂