12 Tips How to improve Self Love + free worksheet

Self-love. A word that has a negative connotation for many. But how come? Self-love has nothing to do with vanity and arrogance- not at all. The relationship with ourselves is the most important one in our lives. Everything we do, we’re passionate about and we love, is based on this relationship. Unfortunately, we forget this fact too often. We want to be loved, accepted and appreciated by others, but what about ourselves? Why do WE stay on track?

Self-love has nothing to do with selfishness or narcissism, but with self-respect and self-esteem. To love ourselves, with all our edges and imperfection, has not only a positive effect on our lives, but also on the lives of our friends, family, and loved ones. Self-love makes us emotionally stable. It gives us self-confidence and inner strength, makes us honest, sincere and attractive. A lack of self-love is often the reason for failed projects in live- physically and mentally. But mostly, we seek the answer to our questions in a completely different spot. However, any love, no matter which love, always starts first within ourselves.

Self-love- self-esteem and self-confidence are the essential keys to a happy and fulfilling life. How should you pursue your dreams, if you don’t like yourself, your way of thinking or your ideas? The crux is often the inner dialogue we have with us. On the one hand, we can be lovingly and motivating and empowering, but also destructive and mean. This is where we have to pull our thoughts and inner dialogue on a positive side. Only we are responsible for our happiness, and life is definitely too short to not love ourselves.

But above all, we must be willing to work for it. I find that society nowadays is so impatient. Everything must happen immediately: losing weight, making money, success, finding the right guy. The result thereof is a disappointed face when things won’t get successful overnight.

No matter what area in life, if you strive for long-term results, you have to stick to your challenge, practice often and consciously take time for it regularly. This is the only way to achieve sustainable goals. It’s the same with self-love and self-esteem. You can’t stand in front of your mirror and repeat three times that you love yourself the way you are and expect that you now love yourself enough and be done with it. Self-love is a process. A long and sometimes quite exhausting process. But at the end of it, there waits happiness, love and inner peace. I think it’s totally worth it to be patient, don’t you think?

Today I have 12 tips for you, how you can learn and practice self-love in order to live a happy and fulfilled live. In addition, they should help you to maintain your relationships and friendships, and to be patient with yourself. I also included a free working sheet for you, that I fill out every Sunday.


1. Try to handle mistakes and failure in a positive way – accept them

You’ve made mistakes in the past and you’ll also make mistakes in future. Just like any other human being on this planet. You’re not the only person- but people usually just don’t talk about it. Even if you’re making thousands of mistakes (which I doubt by the way), it makes no sense to hate yourself for it. To drown yourself in self-criticism and guilt is neither constructive nor healthy. Instead of pulling yourself down, you should ask yourself one question: What can I learn from this?“. And there it is. You learn something- with every single mistake you make. We wouldn’t be where we are today, without making mistakes from time to time. They shape us, teach us and often something good arises from them. We just need a little longer to realize that. Start treating your mistakes in a more positive and educational way from now on and don’t be so hard on yourself.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

In my article 12 tips how to stop comparing yourself to others, I already explained to you in detail, what comparison does to our self-esteem. Right- it kills it! When we compare ourselves to others, we forget the fact that we are all unique human beings. And out of a sudden, we only see our weaknesses. Especially in times of Instagram and Snapchat, we are repeatedly confronted with comparison every day. You have to accept that everyone has a bad day from time to time, and all of us have something to carry. There is no life out there which is fully perfect. A perfect life just doesn’t exist. And that is totally fine. It would be super boring and without emotion. Don’t look for comparison, focus on inspiration.

3. Take life not too seriously

Don’t be so hard on yourself all the time. If something doesn’t work the first try, be patient with yourself. Always keep in mind that good things take time. Don’t overthink everything to the smallest detail. Take a deep breath and do everything with a bit more ease.

4. Celebrate your achievements

If you archive something of what you are proud of, no matter how small or big, celebrate it. Each time! Write down a list of everything that you’ve accomplished and keep it always nearby, so you can read it when you’re feeling insecure about yourself. This will strengthen your confidence and will make you happy and proud!

5. Decide that today is going to be a good day

Each morning we have the chance to start our day in a positive way. Before you get out of bed, you have to decide that today is going to be a good day. If you act positive, you will feel positive- fake it till you feel it! Make today a happy one!


6. Stay true to yourself

Just because others don’t like what you do, or doubt your decisions and dreams- you can’t stop believing in them yourself. Don’t make yourself small for others. Be true to yourself and stand up for your dreams, ideas, and thoughts. Don’t try to please everyone- that is impossible and highly frustrating. Here is a quote which I think fits perfect:

“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” ~ Dan Coppersmith

7. Listen to your body

What food do your body and soul good? Which diet is perfect for your optimum energy level and vitality? Which sports do you enjoy the most? If you are physically active and eat healthy and natural food- you energy gets a boost and you will feel so much better and happier. Find out which diet and sports work best for you. I chose the plant-based diet and couldn’t be happier with it. If you want to learn more about my workout routine, you can browse my fitness category.

8. Smile more often

This may sound a little superficial, but a smile has so much more power than you might think. Start your mornings like this: smile when you wake up, smile every time you pass a mirror, smile when you are talking to other people, smile when you go to bed. A smile signals our brain happiness what’s lead our body to feel great and full of energy!

9. Stop doubting yourself

Stop doubting your decisions , your dreams, your ideas, your being or your instincts. Have faith in yourself and always keep in mind: If you never try, you’ll never know. Take out a piece of paper and write down what the worst case scenario would be if you follow your dreams without doubts. Then decide if you could handle that scenario. Often it sounds much more terrifying in our head than it actually is in real life.


10. Surround yourself with people who you do well

We are the average of the five people with which we spend the most time with- choose wisely! Avoid people who bring you into a bad state of mind, leave you doubting yourself or make you feel bored. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people who believe in you and your dreams and also share their dreams with you. Spend time with people who support you, listen to you and appreciate and respect you the way you deserve it! Walk away from people who make you feel bad!

11. Take time for things that bring you joy

It is so important to spend time with yourself and do the things that YOU love. Whether it’s dancing, singing, boxing, reading or baking- it’s totally up to you. Do what brings you fun and joy and make time for these activities in your busy life. Don’t feel guilty! Have fun, enjoy yourself and focus on YOU. Me-time is totally necessary for our happiness, self-love, and mindset!

12. Practice your self-esteem and self-love with my free working sheet

Normally, self-love should be practiced every day. I know this is difficult and we often forget. That’s why I created a weekly self-love and self-esteem working sheet, that I fill out every Sunday night. It sums up all your accomplishments, feelings and things you are grateful for, so you can start fresh into your new week, reflect the old one, learn from your mistakes and tackle new goals.

Print 10 sheets, put it in a small folder and fill in the working sheet every Sunday from now on. I find it very helpful and think you should at least give it a try 🙂


Bildschirmfoto 2016-07-19 um 17.02.39

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Leave a Reply


  • Reply
    19. August 2016 at 11:25

    Ein sehr schöner Artikel und ein tolles Worksheet! Ich liebe das Einhorn darauf ;)))) Generell bin ich hier eher stille Mitleserin, aber ich mag deinen Blog wirklich sehr gerne. Weiter so und liebste Grüße! Anni 🙂

    • Reply
      19. August 2016 at 11:47

      Das freut mich total! Danke für dein liebes Kommentar <3

  • Reply
    Rosie von Waldherr
    19. August 2016 at 19:14

    Sehr schön geschrieben! Ich habe es mir gleich gespeichert und weil alle es mal lesen sollen, habe ich es auch gleich in Facebook geteilt, hoffe es passt 😉

    xoRosie // Rosie’s Life

    • Reply
      19. August 2016 at 19:39

      Ohh das freut mich total, danke dir!! <3

  • Reply
    19. August 2016 at 19:20

    Wow, richtig tolle Tipps und ein super wichtiges Thema, Valerie! Das ist für mich auch noch etwas, an dem ich jeden Tag arbeite. Vor allem daran, das Leben einfach nicht so ernst zu nehmen 😉 Super Idee mit dem Worksheet!

    Liebe Grüße
    Lena | http://www.healthylena.de

    • Reply
      19. August 2016 at 19:38

      Danke für dein liebes Feedback. Freut mich sehr dass dir der Artikel gefällt 🙂 hoffentlich bis Bald! <3

  • Reply
    19. August 2016 at 21:51

    Thank you for this article, it’s very helpful ! I love to read your article, they are always great ! I try to love myself a little more but as you said It takes times <3

    xOxo Manon B

    • Reply
      19. August 2016 at 21:59

      It makes me so happy to hear that <3 That's true, it's a process- but so worth it!

  • Reply
    19. August 2016 at 23:20

    Liebe Valerie ein toller Post – habe mir das Sheet sofort gespeichert und werde das Projekt “Ich” direkt in die Hand nehmen!

    PS: du hast zweimal die 11 und keine 12! 😉 hab mich erst gewundert ob ich zu blöd bin, da die Überschrift doch 12 Tipps versprochen hat 😀

  • Reply
    20. August 2016 at 11:26

    Dein Beitrag ist wirklich gut und du hast recht Fehler gehören zum Leben dazu

  • Reply
    20. August 2016 at 18:10

    Sehr schöner Blogpost zu einem tollen Thema! Selbstliebe ist wirklich nicht leicht und deine Tipps sind wirklich gut und die werde ich mir sicher auch öfter ins Gedächnis rufen!

    Liebe Grüße

  • Reply
    Westend Birds
    20. August 2016 at 20:02

    Wahre Worte in einem wirklich schönen Beitrag! Ich finde, dass wir vor allem Erfolge viel zu selten bis gar nicht feiern und dadurch unseren Leistungsdruck und die Erwartungen an uns selbst permanent erhöhen.
    Liebe Grüße und ein schönes Wochenende,

  • Reply
    21. August 2016 at 10:41

    Interessanter Artikel und sehr wichtig. Die Nummer 6 ist für mich fast das Wichtigste Punkt. Sich selbst treu bleiben wird schon Hamlet bei Shakespeare geraten.
    Die Idee mit dem Worksheet gefällt mir gut, ich bin nur leider der Typ, der sowas begeistert anfängt und nach 2 Mal aufhört, weil ich es vergesse. Vielleicht klappt es ja diesmal damit, auch wegen des niedlichen Einhorns 🙂

    Liebe Grüße
    Claudine / http://www.claudinesroom.com

  • Reply
    Gabrielle Crystal RoseBonniee ~
    21. August 2016 at 23:56

    Lovely photos ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ

  • Reply
    22. August 2016 at 9:56

    Super schöner und wichtiger Artikel! 🙂
    Ich finde es vor allem sehr wichtig, dass man sich
    nicht mit anderen vergleicht. Das ist nämlich der perfekte Weg ins Unglück :/

    Weiter so! 🙂 Ich mag deinen Blog total! ♥



  • Reply
    22. August 2016 at 11:34

    Ein toll geschriebener Beitrag, liebe Valerie! Ich kann jeden Punkt den du aufgelistet hast nur unterschreiben. Besonders toll finde ich das Worksheet und die Idee, es jeden Sonntag auszufüllen und zu sammeln. Oft liest man solche Artikel und nimmt sich vor, etwas für das Thema Selbstliebe zu tun, vergisst es dann aber im Alltag wieder viel zu schnell. Daher finde ich dieses Worksheet eine tolle Methode um dran zu arbeiten und dran zu bleiben. <3

    Liebste Grüße,

  • Reply
    Monday Favourites CW33
    22. August 2016 at 12:49

    […] aber leider häufig nicht. Daher finde ich es toll, dass Valerie sich dem Thema angenommen hat und auf ihrem Blog 12 Tipps gibt, um die Liebe zu sich selbst zu verbessern und über ebendiese Dinge (Kritik, Zweifel, Vergleiche) nochmal nachzudenken. Besonders hilfreich […]

  • Reply
    22. August 2016 at 15:07

    Super geschrieben!
    Manche Punkte lasse ich leider auch viel zu oft unbeachtet und man kann daran nicht oft genug erinnert werden. Das Worksheet ist total süß dafür!
    Was für mich ein Augenöffner war, ist die Aussage einer Studienkollegin von mir, die einmal meinte, wie sehr respektlos wir alle mit uns selbst sind. Wir sagen uns selbst andauernd Dinge, die wir anderen NIEMALS ins Gesicht sagen würden, weil sie extrem verletzend sind. Warum nur? Ich versuche jedenfalls darauf zu achten. Ist wahrscheinlich eine Lebensaufgabe 😉

    Liebe Grüße!

  • Reply
    28. August 2016 at 9:35

    Einfach nur Danke, das hat sehr gut getan, Deinen Artikel zu lesen! Merci beaucoup, Lisa

  • Reply
    Fashion Kitchen
    30. August 2016 at 7:38

    Was für ein toller Post Valerie! Danke dafür!

  • Reply
    31. August 2016 at 9:54

    Meine Liebe, mit diesem Text hast du den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen. Ich bin so begeistert, dass ich ihn letztens in meinem Sunday Buzz auf dem Blog unbedingt weiterempfehlen musste <3 Fühl dich ganz fest gedrückt und bis hoffentlich ganz bald!

    Julia :*

    • Reply
      31. August 2016 at 13:59

      Hey meine Liebe, danke für deine lieben Worte und das Teilen. Freut mich total dass dir der Artikel so gut gefällt <3 Danke für dein liebes Feedback:-*

  • Reply
    20. November 2016 at 18:46

    Ein toller Artikel und ein zauberhaftes Worksheet! Das finde ich wirklich prima, um jeden Tag noch einmal daran erinnert zu werden.
    Liebe Grüße